Found Excerpts 2003: The Things Children Say!

My sister and I were at upstate New York for Thanksgiving. During dinner, Heaven, our cousin’s six year old daughter, wanted to know why I didn’t talk. My sister explained that I was deaf and used sign language instead of speaking. Heaven then asked: “Why does he have a mouth if he can’t talk?”

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2 responses to “Found Excerpts 2003: The Things Children Say!

  1. Holden? Is that you, Holden Caulfield?

    I guess you never told old Phoebe that you were actually pretending to be a goddam deaf-mute. That would have killed her.

    So, did you end up scrawling down on a napkin that your mouth served no function other than to devour childish innocence for breakfast, and hand the napkin to Heaven as your face contorted into the most hellish of grins?

  2. For the record, it wasn’t breakfast but dinner. Get your facts straight, man! On a sidebar, you gonna hate me if I say that you should brush your damn teeth? Besides, it wasn’t a girl you banged but some bloke with a smooth bum.

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