He prowled growling on the snow, leaving deep tracks. He kicked over the lighted reindeer, punched the automatron Santa in the schnozz, and ripped a blinking candy cane from the ground. With it he beat Joseph Mary and the glowing hosts until shards and sparks flowered the pine-scented night. He hurled baby Jesus through a window. He punted plastic sheep into windshields. As the alarmed neighbors rushed out of their homes, he pulled the lighting from a neighboring house, strung it up a Christmas tree, and hung himself. The panicked neighbors pulled at his feet, and the star topping the drooping tree fell onto his head shooting electric fire through neon enamel howling “Fuck Wal-mart, fuck SEARS, fuck Macy’s, fuck the Banana Republic, fucking fuck you US of A and your gobstopping everlasting wallet…” until a smell of roasting meat permeated the Christmas evening.

2 responses to “Grinch

  1. wow…this really works. I want to hear this read at a slam sometime. The host at the last slam I went to seems to want to have this in your face style…but…it falls short. This is right on the mark–even considering that I don’t think I ever would have said that about a piece of writing that described a nose as a schnozz…

  2. I’m glad you think so. Queerly enough, it took me just ten minutes to write this. I usually bring down a wrath of editing onto my language games, something like this would take hours probably, but this one came into my mind clear and crystal after a bout of wallowing in the blogosphere. Someone made a post cursing the commercialization of Christmas and the miscellany of holidays.

    I shared the same sentiment. I felt that something primally pagan, suffused with old earth magic and meaning, was being replaced by polished plastic and product recalls. The roots of our culture have been ripped out of the fertile loam of history, which is quickly becoming unsuitable for new shoots of ideas.

    As for schnozz, I can understand if people don’t want to take such words seriously, but I think real literature, if there’s such a thing, transcends proper grammatical and vocabulary usage. If it works, it works.

    Feel free to use it at a slam if you wish. As interesting as slams sound, it would be regrettably lost on me.

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