God in the Face of Infinity

“So…” God threw the thesis on the table with a thump that resonated in the holy chamber. “This many worlds interpretation…it’s valid?”

The angel’s brow was lined with golden droplets of sweat. “I-it would seem so, O Lord.”

The Almighty sighed and settled heavily into his throne. “The first commandment.” He shook His radiant head. “I’m a fucking fraud. Now everyone’ll think I’m as narcissistic as the devil.”

“But my Lord–,” the angel cut himself short, the consequences of continuing the thought out loud evident in God’s glare.

“In an infinity of Myself, originality is dead. What point is there in continued existence?”

“Lord, if I may interject?” the angel trembled, averting his gaze.

“Go on.”

“Almighty, have you ever watched The Highlander?”


Bits and Pieces of Death

They found him keeled over and clutching a white gilded mushroom. He stirred and said, “I just wanted to taste a destroying angel…”

Before the deployment, his father gave him an engraved silver lighter for luck. It was his grandfather’s. He kept it in a chest pocket and pulled it out occasionally to smoke a spliff. During an exchange of gunfire a bullet caught him right in the lighter. His father received from the military a package containingĀ a mangled silver lighter and soot covered dog tags.

The barrel was cold in his mouth. When he pulled the trigger it clicked. He was curious what it felt like to have a gun in his mouth. He pulled the trigger again. Then again. And for the last time, an overlooked bullet punched through the roof of his mouth and severed his spinal cord. His friends and family were astonished and said things like ‘He was so happy’ and ‘I don’t understand how this could have happened…’

It hung belly up in its bowl of water. It lay stiff and cold in the cage, its eyes and mouth grimaced open, its long ears a-lop. Its purr dwindled off to silence. After a series of small barks its rise of breath shuddered into non-motion. He sat in his deathbed and removed the tubing that crowded his arm and died happily.