The Robopope: Ave Mech

Ave Mech gratia plena

Robo tecum
Benedicta tu in androidus
et benedictus
fructus cerebum tui, Bot
Sancta Mech, Mater Robo
ora pro nobis machinus,
nunc, et in hora reboot nostrae



Hail Mech, full of grace
Robo is with thee
Blessed art thou among androids
and blessed
is the fruit of thy mind, Bot
Holy Mech, mother of Robo
Pray for us mechkind
Now and at the hour of our reboot




He prowled growling on the snow, leaving deep tracks. He kicked over the lighted reindeer, punched the automatron Santa in the schnozz, and ripped a blinking candy cane from the ground. With it he beat Joseph Mary and the glowing hosts until shards and sparks flowered the pine-scented night. He hurled baby Jesus through a window. He punted plastic sheep into windshields. As the alarmed neighbors rushed out of their homes, he pulled the lighting from a neighboring house, strung it up a Christmas tree, and hung himself. The panicked neighbors pulled at his feet, and the star topping the drooping tree fell onto his head shooting electric fire through neon enamel howling “Fuck Wal-mart, fuck SEARS, fuck Macy’s, fuck the Banana Republic, fucking fuck you US of A and your gobstopping everlasting wallet…” until a smell of roasting meat permeated the Christmas evening.